The frenzy that accompany Valentine’s day celebration starts almost a month before the due date. People making reservations for hotels, restaurants, movie houses, concerts and other events way ahead of time. Then follows the florists and caterer orders for flowers and cakes. The frenzy though picks on the last week and days of the 14th of February of every year.
Africans especially Nigerians have certainly taken over the celebration from the white people that initiated it. Valentine’s day seems to be competing with age long celebrations like Christmas. The preparation that leads up to both annual events are now so alike. Decorations, buying of gifts, planned holidays and many others have become the norms for both celebrations.
The church is not left out of this frenzy lately. On Valentine’s day churches are decorated with crimson red and Christians get dressed up in red attires including the choir. Special Shows are planned especially during the evenings. These Shows are intended to help keep young people from being at the wrong place as well as fight off peer pressure that can drive them to regrettable errors.
Reminiscing
I still remember vividly way back in the late 90’s and early twenties, the traffic build-up in Lagos major shopping areas of Allen and Opebi as people shop for valentine cards and presents. Then on Valentine day the traffic basically grounds everyone as fun lovers hit the roads in search of good time. I am sure the situation is still same if not more now.
There is a particular Valentine I will never forget. In an attempt to show my not too romantic boyfriend the coolest gesture that was trending, I had a florist deliver a lovely but expensive bouquet of fresh flowers to his house with his name taped on it. He received the flowers but felt it was a waste of money as we are not oyibo, as he put it. He got me my favourite perfume then ‘Samsara’ but the packaging and mode of delivery was devoid of romance.
Some of my girlfriends then had some romantic yuppy, about town boyfriends that were into ‘oyibo’ dazzles. My beau on the other hand was a good, faithful and committed guy not given to sweet words and all the shenanigans going on then. As my girls kept complaining about their guys’ antics there I was wishing my own could be more romantic. What an irony. We really cannot have it all. As I wished for romance they wished their guys could be more faithful and committed like mine. What a life, you loose some and gain some. And so like glue I stuck to my guy, romantic or not.
The Downers of Valentine’s Day
With all the conflicts, wars, terrorism, diseases, poverty and many other vices and evil engulfing our world today, I do not begrudge anybody who wants to celebrate love. I grew up hearing the adage that “love is what makes the world go round”. But the bitter taste and the permanent scar left in the lives of many will have us re-evaluate how we have come to celebrate this day that is meant to be in honour of a saint named Valentine for his sacrifice of love.
Despite the anticipation of happiness this season brings, Valentine’s day also has downer effects too. There is the anxiety build-up for girls and women who might not be choosen as the valentine of their philandering beaus. These women and girls usually are willing to give an arm and a leg to be the one that gets asked out on a date on Valentine’s day.
What an irony that the supposed day when people ought to be happy and feel really loved, they cry over lovers they thought they had. Over the years’ lots of hearts have been broken on valentine’s days and relationships terminated. Men and women alike fabricate lies to tell so they can be with the one they truly love, or to get expensive gifts and have a good time. Valentine’s day has indeed been commercialized as the highest bidders take home their prized possessions.
What is really disheartening is that young naïve girls are taken advantage of by preying men and boys. Poor choices are equally made as young adolescents lower their guards in the euphoria that accompany valentine’s day. The result of these poor choices are unwanted pregnancies, abortions and children born by ill prepared mothers. The future of most of these girls get truncated as some are withdrawn from school or married off forcefully to the fathers of their babies. Then there is the ill treatment meted to the children born to the unprepared mothers that resent their babies for stealing their youth. The most troubling and heart breaking part is that some girls die while trying to abort the babies. Some commit suicide for being jilted while some who think they are secure in a loving relationship after Valentine’s day rendezvous, get dumped and become traumatized for years
Soul Searching Questions
The soul searching question should therefore be, is the happiness of one day worth the pain of a life time?. Every young person should be able to ask themselves this question. Another question is, will it not be wiser to first make friends, learn and relearn these friends before committing to a more serious and intimate relationship Valentine or no valentine?.
These and many more questions on love, friendship and marriage will be discussed in my next post. I wish you a love that out lasts all love, the love of the Lord. Stay cool and begin to actually love you-self. Yes you can for it makes you lovable when you love you.
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