As women are unique in their compositions so are their unique choices of men. But there are general qualities or characteristics all women look out for in their men. Haven Sampled the opinion of women from all works of life, young and old alike, rich and poor, carrier women and house wives; all seem to want the same qualities in their men. Taking it outside the shores of Nigeria; from black women to white, they all seem to want the same qualities. Alexis Jones in his article “10 of the most important qualities women look for in a guy” sampled the opinion of 3 relationship experts [Harville Hendrix PHD, Helen Lakelly Hunt PHD and Amy McMahan Ms, LMFTA] to find out what women should be looking for in Mr. Right. So combining my own wants, the wants of all the women I interviewed for this article and many other books and articles I read, I believe that most of these wants were summed up in the response Alexis Jones got from the 3 relationship experts he interviewed. To read this article you can click on this link.
https://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a22750311/what-qualities-women-want-in-a-man/
Without much ado friends, let’s get into it. These fundamental qualities women want in their men are as follows.
1. Security– All women want men that will make them feel safe. This safety is all encompassing and not just physical protection only. This safety includes financial, social, cultural, political, religious, emotional and all other protection a woman needs to feel secure in a relationship.
Financially: – Women want to know that the basic needs of food, shelter and clothing will be taken care of by their men. The good book pointed out the importance of this aspect of a man’s core responsibilities to his home in the book of 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel”. (KJV).
Socially: Women want some social relevance as all human are known to be social beings. They want to go out with their men, dine and wine amongst friends and families alike.
Culturally or customarily the shock encountered by most women who are married across varied race and culture can be overwhelming. What women are made to go through in some parts of Africa, Nigeria in particular when their husbands die will make the hairs on your skin stand up, and drive you to tears even. Women indeed are a very special and strong specie made by God said a male friend of mine. This friend said that anybody who believes that women are the weaker sex should have his head examined.
Buttressing his point he said that only a woman will leave her father’s house and follow a man she assumes she knows, thousands of miles to a place she has never been and to a people she does not know and not be afraid of what will happen to her. He said no man will do that. Men he said process everything through their head and not usually from their heart as most women do. Men always apply common sense and so will not take the kind of risk women take, he opined.
This friend of mine is not too far from the truth; but I believe that the reason women do what they do is because they trust that if they can sacrifice their lives for men like that, the least the men owe them is to protect them from anything and any one. And that is why when a woman sees her man stand up for her against all pressure from family and friends they make sacrifices that most men will dare make. Looking at Africa for example, our cultural norms are such that without the intervention of most men for their women, their kinsmen will make life very miserable for them; even before they begin to get the hang of the culture they got married i
Politically: The same goes for political needs. If the men will advocate for policies that will not marginalize and disenfranchise women, what a beautiful home and world we will all have. Same goes for religion; this is another ball game altogether and will not be stretched here.
Emotionally: Every woman’s emotion is paramount to the peace and stability of their homes, as women are emotional beings. The guarantee of sustained love and affection built on trust and faithfulness matters so much more than material things to most women. No woman wants to be abused in any way, be it physically, mentally or financially. The current prevalence of gender based violence in our society is alarming and no woman wants to end up with a man that will abuse her. No wander the holy book tells husbands in Col 3:19
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them” Col. 3:19.
When a woman perceives or discerns that these needs will be met by her man she will follow that man to the end of the earth and be prepared to face all other odds or weaknesses. Closely related to security is stability.
2. Stability/Faithfulness which is akin to trust and honesty. Trust is the foundation upon which every relationship is built. Women want to know they can trust their men and that their words are as good as it comes. No games nor yoyo business. Every woman wants a great degree of stability and faithfulness in her life. When men are faithful to their wives they honour God and their wives, and the reward is awesome. I just love the wisdom of God as posited in Proverbs 5:15-23. The Messenger version is awesome.
“Do you know the saying, “Drink from your own rain barrel, draw water from your own spring-fed well”? It’s true. Otherwise, you may one day come home and find your barrel empty and your well polluted. Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man. Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose – don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger?” Proverbs 5:15-23
Faithfulness is akin to stability. This stability is all encompassing from relational/emotional to financial and all other attributes that good relationships thrive on. Women want men that are reliable and can be counted on for all that matter most for the smooth running of their homes/families. Lies are a no no. Even in dating no woman wants to lied to. They better know the truth for when they do know, no matter how unpalatable, they choose to deal no matter how unpleasant the truth might seem. On this trust issue you can click this link to read my post titled 13 thought provoking questions to answer before you deal. Or watch the video on my You Tube channel @ Chinwe Aganekwu.
It also beholds the women to use tact. Women must know when, what, where and how to talk so they can be heard and the much sort after outcome gotten from their men without stress.
3. Love & Acceptance. Every woman wants to be loved and accepted just as she is. When a woman or a man for that matter is constantly being assessed and made to change or improve to meet the expectations of their partners, a serious problem starts brewing. Constant criticisms and berated admonishing no woman likes nor should like. If you as a woman is not accepted and loved as you are know that trouble lurks around. Women change on their own when they are loved and accepted, they simply begin to on their own adapt to their partners, loving and respecting them too.
Acceptance disarms all women for we know the nonsense most of us dragged into our relationships. Yes oo lets be candid here women, we know that we all do not come perfect and so should never expect a perfect nor ideal man. Watching this 1947 movie “An Ideal Husband” I recall the statement by David Yelland as Sir Robert Chiltern “why do women always want ideal men and by so doing make idols of their men when all the men want is to be accepted the way they are so they do not have to live a lie for acceptance from their women” paraphrased though. How so true women; can we cut the men a slack sometimes and allow them be men from time to time. laughs
When any man is not so harshly judged or treated by his woman, the best in that man is flows out and loving becomes so easy for that man. Acceptance to men is great respect and so women ought to and must respect their men. When men are respected they can do anything for their women. Yes ooo women the fastest way to a man’s heart and pocket is through deep seated respect and honour. When men are honoured they will defend you with even their lives. A good food for your thought women. I rest my case.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church”. Eph. 5:25-29
Love however is not a one way thing, women are also to love respect and honour their husbands. One good turn they say deserves another. So may love rule in our lives, families and communities. Please watch out for the concluding part of this post for other qualities women want and crave in their men.
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