In part one of this post some of the qualities a woman wants in her man such as Security consisting of Financial, social, cultural, political and economical] aspects were enumerated. Then Stability/faithfulness of which trust and honesty. Listening/attentiveness and Love & acceptance all these were dealt with in part one. In this final part I will be looking at many other qualities that women really want in their men. So ride with me. Other qualities that all women crave and yearn for in their men include: –
1. Leadership/Assertiveness Women like leaders who are in control and can lead them right. Just like the good book in Eph 5:23 tells us
“The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing her “MSG.
Eph 5:23
No woman wants a doormat for a partner, rather they want their men to assert themselves, asking for what they want even if it makes them vulnerable. Every woman wants to know what issues their partners are having so they will know how to help them. But some men rather die than lower their guards and tell their partners what they really want or need that will not make them look or be less of macho men. But surprisingly most reasonable women love and respect the men that let them into their fears and deepest secrets. Healthy couples normally tell each other what they need, what irks them and what help they need with them. It is difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is locked in. When men including women open their hearts to each other an incredible bond is formed and freedom to love and relate ensures.
2. Chemistry/Compatibility. Good old chemistry. No woman wants a man she is not connected to or attracted to emotionally and otherwise. Women are drawn to men mostly based on attraction and compatibility. Women seek connection of sort before they get involved, without this connection majority of women will not deal. And most time this is the undoing of most women, because Chemistry a good man does not make oo. So let us use our head not just our heart as we choose.
3. Chivalry. Women still want their men chivalrous even in this century. They want men who will woo them, bring them flowers, wine and dine them and walk through the rain to visit without complaining. Contrary to what some men think about chivalry as weakness, on the contrary it is strength to women, very strong one at that. However speed dating has dealt a big blow to chivalry and women are not better off with the fast disappearance of this virtue that bring out the best in both men and women. I remember how our beaus in the 70ies, 80ies and 90ies treated us their girls, very delightful indeed. Then very expressive finely written love letters in colourful writing pads and adorable envelopes had us girls giggling, grinning and smiling all day long like Cheshire cats. The girls also were awesome in their replies to these love letters. Some very poetic boys and girls were paid to craft the most amazing love letters that were copied over and over again till some of the expressions became clichés.
But it should not be.
Oh what fun we had comparing whose boyfriend was ‘de coco’ lover. This is making me feel really nostalgic. So let us ride the nostalgia a little. I remember debating society days and how we used to prepare for the boys as they came in their school buses for the debate days. Girls will stretch their hairs while some of us will plait overnight so that when we loose it the hair will appear grown and better. My hair however will never stay up half the day and shrink to its original size.
That used to make me so angry but once I climbed the stage to reel out my well prepared speech and the uproar from the audience at my line of debate, makes my short hair that refused to stay up of no importance any more. The boys will mill around trying to get our attention and from that one debate several letters will come in and we will pick and choose the ones to respond to and the one’s to trash. Those were the good old days. Boys will spend years wooing a girl and never as much as get a handshake, you can say the least for these days of instant gratification.
The point am trying to make here is that all the qualities that women should take their time to discover in a man so they can choose better is fast being eroded. When they are still there, most of the men hardly display them for being seen as weaklings. Another issue is that of speed dating as young people rush in and out of relationships and so fail to allow time to study who they want to date or marry. All resulting in the high attrition of relationships and divorces with their attendant effect in our society as children from fragmented homes pay very high prices
4. Personal Grooming–Women love well groomed men with manners and maturity. They love especially those that treat them with respect, making them feel beautiful. But the issue most times is that some well-groomed men are haughty and treat women that do not measure up to their supposed standards with contempt. So very smart women no longer give an arm and a leg to such men, rather settle for men who love, support and treat them with respect.
5. Maturity/Respect– Women want very mature men. Men who are secure and not threatened by a woman’s success. A man that will respect and treat them as equal partners and not as subservient props, added like more feather to their caps. Mature men who know when to overlook certain proclivities akin to the women folks and not always poke a finger at them. Men who will not allow relatives, friends and others treat their wives or girlfriends poorly. Women want men they can look up to and learn from. They want men who support them in their career parts especially those career parts that are the exclusive preserves of men. Men who will stand with them through thick and thin, these are the kind of men women are willing to die for. I like the way the bible put it in 1st Pet. 3:7
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered”. 1st Pet. 3:7
6. Empathy and Compassion – Women adore empathic and compassionate men. Men who are sensitive to know when they are hurting and able to come to their aid; nurturing, loving, assuring and reassuring always. In a world we live in, people are so into themselves that even when their partners are hurting they hardly know and even when they do, could care less. These uncaring attitudes like not being able to say sorry to your partner when they cry out in pain by either hitting their body parts against an object or mourning or groaning in pain when sick. Incidents such as these are very disheartening and can do a lot of damage to relationships. The reason people hold on and hope that all will overtime get better is that they feel loved. Expressions of love from loved ones are very key to the health and wellbeing of every one especially women.
7. Sexual prowess – All woman want men that will bring them pleasure in bed. Sexual chemistry alone however does not cut it, but the ability to deliver sizzling esthetic pleasure in bed, that does it for all women. No wonder many women are willing to endure all manner of ills just for the pleasures their partners bring through sexual gratification. The intimacy that sex brings; the connect and the bond that it generates is the glue that binds and helps sustain spousal relationships.
8. Appreciation – Women adore men that appreciate them. Being a woman is not moi moi as Nigerians say. The chores associated with the roles of women are tedious. There is hardly any moment of rest for women who toil night and day to ensure the smooth running of their homes. Women roles are daunting; lately from being major contributors economically, to upholding and sustaining the spiritual climate of the home. Add to it the arduous role of birthing, nursing and raising children, keeping a home running and all other wifely roles especially meeting the sexual needs of the men.
All these for no appreciation of any kind, can keep most women demoralize without any zeal to go an extra mile for the wellbeing of their homes. I know the drill here with scourging words like “what do you even do; cook and so what, my friend, give me food and stop nagging”. Or is it the one of “woman get that child of yours to shut up, I want to rest”, OMG, women especially Niaja ones, really go through a lot, may the good Lord help and strengthen Naija women and all women all over the world for that matter.
It is about time men start appreciating their women and women their men also. It should actually be a vice versa thing for smooth and loving atmosphere to prevail always in homes.
There are so many more qualities to add to this list, but the issue really is that women should not demand these qualities if they do not have corresponding ones to offer to the men folks. One good turn deserves another. So whatever qualities any woman wants from any man, that woman should and ought to have the qualities men also want from their women. Watch out for what men want from their women in my next post.
Thank you so much for listening, you can read up the part 1 of this article in my blog site www.fountainofresurces.com or view it in my you tube channel @chinwe Aganekwu. Do subscribe, like and share. Tara
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