Honestly the more I think about happiness, the more I realise that most of what brought me happiness have also been the very things that brought me the most mental anguish and pain. Growing up, falling in and out of love, I remember now the emotionally high and low periods. Even as I write wearing this grin on my face I reminisce on those days when I had butterflies fluttering in my tommy each time I fell in love and believed it was going to last forever. But then comes the crashing feelings that follow when the love that ought to have lasted forever crumbles before it ever began.
Looking back now at those moments I realized how naïve and young I was. What I had called love was infatuation and when it really felt like love, the people I fell in love with were immature and unprepared for the depth of love I craved. We simply did not understand that the success of any relationship was based on hard work and patience. As I grew older I began to realise that for me to truly have a good life, I must divulge my life from the emotional highs called happiness for they were really very transient. I now know that moments of happiness come and go but the joy that the Lord gives stays deep within no matter what situation I find myself in.
There is a general belief that happiness is a final destination that one has to reach for life to be beautiful all the time. But that is hardly the truth. This wrong perception and belief has left many frustrated and overwhelmed with life. This is more so with people that believe that to be happy always is what makes a relationship tick. So they keep moving from one relationship to another any moment they are not constantly happy.
This is definitely so wrong. In a flawed world with flawed people, it is absolutely impossible to stay happy all the time. Life is complex and so are human beings. Situations change and so does the weather. Your wife can give birth and while you are rejoicing about the safe delivery, a very close friend gets up and dies or has a fatal accident. Now tell me how possible it is to stay happy in the midst of these extreme emotions and happenstances. And just like Penny Locaso said “How do you experience happiness if you don’t know sadness and pain?.
The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that we can stay happy all the time. Most people have worked away from incredible relationships because they were not able to keep the happy emotions flowing always. For goodness sake, we live in an imperfect world and we all carry our baggages. There will always be times to smile and times to cry, times to feel sick and times to feel well, times to be happy and times to be sad. When we understand that seasons come and go, we will learn how to be thankful, asking for God’s grace and understanding to get through each time and season we find ourselves in.
One of the reasons why most people hold back from living their lives to the fullest is because they fear failing, poverty, and judgement from others and themselves as well. These three are basically the core reasons for unhappiest situations in most relationships. When we conquer and hold captive the spirit of fear, we walk and work in liberty and freedom and by so doing open our minds and hearts to all the possibilities that lay ahead of us. When we do this we trust God to lead and guide us through every situation of life no matter how difficult or frustrating they might be.
When we know this joy that trumps happiness, we adapt our lives to living a thankful and grateful life ready to always accept and deal with life’s challenges as they come. When we come to this place of acceptance, we grow in leaps and bounds and are able to confront all obstacles on our pathway to life and conquer them even with the happy and sad moments involved. No wonder the good book talks about the joy of the Lord being our strength. I like the way Nehemiah put it, he said in
“Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
Neh. 8:10
This Christmas the truth embedded in this scripture became very glaring to me. It became a living experiential one. I found myself sharing the little I had with most people especially those who were not expecting anything from me. I made huge sacrifices to put a smile on the faces of my loved ones and had a very quiet, peaceful and rewarding Christmas. I had this joy and happiness that money or anyone could not give, I truly knew the joy of the Lord this season. Thank you Lord.
It is obvious therefore that in giving we know joy. Happiness on the other hand makes demand on others. We look up to things and people for happiness but true joy comes when we give of ourselves to others expecting nothing in return. Will there eventually be reward from these acts of kindness, yes ofcourse but not normally from those we were kind to but from God from whom that joy flowed. He will ofcourse use men to bless you, but usually from unexpected people so He alone can take the glory.
The reason for most unhappiness therefore stems from expecting too much from people. When we learn to draw joy from the well of God’s salvation,we truly are overwhelmed with His love and could care less even when we are disappointed in love that flows from human. If we can focus more on the joy that the Lord has given, then out of our bellies will truly flow rivers of living water.
He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
jn 7: 38 KJV
Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. And in that day shall ye say, Praise the LORD, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted.
Isa 12: 3-5 KJV
For more scriptures on joy kindly read the following scriptures at the end of this article.
When we conquer the fear of failing, the fear of being judged and the fear of our needs being met we are truly on our way to living on the mountain top of life. It basically means that there is no mountain we cannot climb and no difficulty we cannot surmount. When you have conquered these fears you begin to eternalize the fact that it can only be God that helped you and that you can trust Him implicitly.
It is at this stage of your life that you know without doubt that it is only the joy that comes from knowing and trusting God that trumps all. This is because momentary happiness can be crashed by any unpleasant situation that might crop up unanticipated.
That is why I really like Penny Locaso’s definition of happiness.
“Happiness is being able to ride the wave of every emotion that life throws at you, knowing that you can come out the other side just a little better than what you were before because you have the skills (focus, courage, curiosity), the resources (a positive mindset), and the support structure (a community) to make that happen.”
Penny Locaso
Lots of people confuse joy with happiness, as Penny said. Although they are closely related and often occur simultaneously, these feel-good emotions she says aren’t synonymous. “Happiness is an emotion that brings bursts of intense pleasure, excitement, and satisfaction, while joyfulness is a stronger, longer-term state that results infeelings of inner peace and contentment”. Forrest Talley, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in California says “Happiness can be brought about by a good cup of coffee in the morning or a funny movie. Joy, on the other hand, is more difficult to cultivate.”
It is clear therefore that joy is cultivated, learned and sustained for a healthier prosperous life. It really is an ongoing process that takes time. Am I saying that happiness is not good and cannot be gotten and given, certainly not, but it should not be the principle determinant of your joy. Joy ought to be constant knowing that God gave it to you and like the good book again said, no one and nothing should take it from you .
And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.
Jn 16: 16-22
Scientifically it has been proven that having joy and happiness contributes incredibly to one’s wellbeing.
“Numerous studies suggest happiness and joy predict lower heart rate and blood pressure, as well as stronger immune systems,” says Susan Damico, M.A. director at the Devereux Center for Resilient Children.
“Additionally, individuals who report having more positive emotions also have fewer illnesses, including minor aches and pains.”
Finding joy also leads to longer life spans, Talley says. Research published in Journal of Happiness Studies found that happier individuals tended to live longer in 53% of the cases. To know joy and maintain it there are several factors that contribute to that. For details to these factors kindly follow this link for a beautiful read. Click here
These are the promised scriptures. Enjoy and may the joy of the Lord truly be yours.
So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
Jn 16:22
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
James 1: 2-3
Isaiah 12:6
Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.”
Isa. 12:6
Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.
Ps. 27:6
Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.
Phil. 1:7
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,
Rom. 14:17
Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Heb 12:2
If you made it to here, Congratulations, Merry Christmas and Happy New year and May the Joy of the Lord be your portion this 2023 and always. kindly share this post with others. Thank you for reading and sharing.
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