Lifestyle

How to Never Allow Desperation / Despair Rob You Again. [Part 1]

July 2, 2021 3586

Summary

Knowing that life is a thug of war with your mind and the world; the battle ground, you ought to prepare to fight, and not just fight, but fight to win. These are tips on how to fight to win.

1. Refuse to Succumb to the Deceptive lies that you are not in control, you sure are

2. Analyze that Desperate Situation

3. Commit it to God in Prayers

4. Guard your Mind/Heart

5. Fill your Mind with God’s Word, Speak and Meditate on them all Day Long

6. Give your life to the Lord

7. Rest in His Love and Promises

8. Praise and Worship

9. Be Grateful and Thank Full

10. Wait for God’s Help for it Surely Must Come

Definition of Desperation and Despair

Desperation is an armed robber; more still, worse than that because it will cost you things that an armed robber will not. Collins dictionary defines desperation as “The feeling that you have when you are in such a bad situation that you will try anything to change it”. American dictionary defined it as “Recklessness resulting from despair”, while Oxford language dictionary defined it as “A state of despair, typically one which results in rash or extreme behavior”.

Despair is a keyword in two of the definitions above. Oxford Languages defines despair as “The complete loss or absence of hope”: while Vocabulary.com defined it as “The feeling of not having any hope left”. These definitions are troubling. But I say ‘Selah’ just like the Bible will say at certain places to get you to pause and ponder. Desperation can cost you, your destiny and I know you might be pondering this very naked truth right now, please do. If you look back, you will see that desperation truly has robbed you of so much. Every regrettable mistake you have ever made was indeed driven by desperation.

Looking intently at those mistakes sometimes makes you shudder at how really desperate you got, not to talk of the feelings of shame and guilt that overwhelms you each time you remember. At that time, if you recall, despair spoke, telling you it is hopeless and desperation had you striking out like a really hopeless drowning person trying to stay alive/survive. And when you finally survive, it finally dawns on you that it was not as bad as the situation really seemed. Oh dear, you have been deceived by the devil himself the father of all lies.

Life is a Thug of War

You, God and His Spirit winning the devil

You must know that there is a battle for your soul between God and the devil. When you know this you will be alert and very conscious of every situation and relationship you enter into.

Bill Crowder in ‘Our Daily Bread’ of 23^rd June, 2014 had this to say about warfare.

“All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive, when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near, likewise, the spiritual warfare that Satan wages against us is also based on deceit. Infact the very first sin was the result of the enemy’s deception.”
Bill Crowder

The issue here is that the devil deceives you by making you believe that whatever you are thinking or going through has no remedy and that all hope is lost. Once he gets you to believe this lie, despair sets in and so does desperation, it’s strong ally. Your brain moves on an overdrive, prompting and urging you to take desperate uncalculated risky and life destroying decisions.

Desperation is all encompassing and so permeates into every aspect of your life starting from relationships to other areas like finance, politics, religion, social etc. There is no area of human endeavor it is not waiting to deal you a blow. And it chooses the best times of your life to strike. If you really check your life you will see that you are always pushed to despair at any point where you are so close to achieving a major milestone in your life. Once you are driven to deviate by a desperate action you are back to square one. As a matter of fact most of us have been played or lied to severally by the devil himself. Thank God for the gift of salvation made possible by Jesus Christ and the helping of the Holy Spirit who has enabled me and many others overcome desperate moves in the face of life’s threatening challenges. We are secure in His care and so shall you if you desire to.

These are Tips on How to Deal with Desperation

1. Refuse to Succumb to the Deception/Lies Presented by the Devil

To beat the devil at his game of deception, learn to act just like Bill Crowder said above. Once you begin to feel desperate, refuse to act as your soul and body dictates. No matter the pressure keep telling yourself that the situation is wrapped in lies and that God and you are in control. Be it a relational or any other issue, refuse to be tempted and pushed to act outside your core values and morals. Be calm, maintain your ground and refuse all impulsive actions born out of desperation, no one will die especially if it is not a life threatening situation. Once you have conquered this stage, it’s time to move to the next stage of analyzing and seeking help constructively.

For believers the best thing to do at this stage is to pray in tongues intensely for hours if you can, or intermittently till the burden or desperation lifts. As you do, your spirit takes over, breathes on the situation and revelatory knowledge and divine directions come. This works for me. You should try it. Romans 8:26 has this to say;

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God”.
Romans 8:26 [NIV]

Once you have calmed down next will be to take a closer look at that desperate situation.

2. Analyze that Desperate Situation

Take a good look at it or them. Your first move is to ascertain and confirm that this problem you are desperate over really exist. For example, people with trust issues in relationships are given to jealous fits without substantial evidence. Assumptions are not always the truth. A lot of people have lost their beaus because of unverified infidelity accusations and damaging actions and inactions over a lot of other issues. Next will be to do the why tree analysis and get to the root cause of the situation/s. https://www.intrahealth.org/opq/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Five-Whys-Technique.pdf. This technique will have you ask yourself many questions as to why you are desperate. The more why questions you ask the more you will be drawn deeper into why you are desperate. You can get the hang of the why tree questioning skill through this link. As you ask these questions you will be drawn deep into your subconscious where the root cause of the problems you are facing lies.

Once you find out the root cause/s, you are well able to proceed to the next stage which is solving the problem/s. Experts have proven that once causes are discovered, the solutions simply lie in reversing these causes. Adequate and reliable information is key here too. Googling the internet is cool but not just in all circumstances and situations. Some causes go beyond the physical and need spiritual interventions. At this stage you should be able to decipher if the situation is one you can deal with alone, or need help with.

Well whether you can deal with it alone or not your next best step will be to take it to your maker, God Himself. Please know that it is ok to seek human counsel or help, but God should and ought to be your first call for help. Remember what the scriptures says about those who put their trust in mere man. Many people fall into deeper despair when their eyes are focused on human. This is because they eventually get disappointed having their hopes dashed. The Bible says:

“Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, and rely on horses, who trust in chariots because they are many, and in horsemen because they are very strong, but who do not look to the Holy One of Israel,nor seek the Lord!”
Isaiah 31:1 [NKJV]

3. Commit it to God in Prayers

There are times when we all feel stuck and overwhelmed by life’s challenges. Feelings of anxiety, isolation and despair envelope us making it seem like there is no help from God or man insight. When this happens that is the place to totally commit whatever the situation or difficulties are to God in prayer, for He alone is able. When you have prayed, pouring your heart out to God, believe He heard you and have answered. The challenge with this however lies in waiting for the answer to the prayers to materialize. Many of us like and want quick fixes and so expect God to act promptly. The only problem with this attitude is that it fails us because God is not a magician and so might not provide answer to our prayers instantly. Sometimes He chooses to answer immediately but at other times, infact most other times, He does not. It is in this waiting period that He builds our character as we grow in patience and perseverance. But He certainly will show up at the time that is right for you in Him.

When we pray, we ought to pray like God asked us to without an iota of doubt.

“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believe that what they say will happen, it will be done for them”.
Mark 11:23 [NIV]

The following scriptures should strength you with all the truth it evidentially speaks.

^“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose”.
Romans 8:28 [NIV]

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”
Ephesians 3:20, [NLT]

I just love this scripture: